Crosswords and Soduko

I've become addicted. No, it's not smoking or drinking or even some other vice.

It's crosswords.

Strange, but I've come to enjoy solving crosswords. There's a satisfaction in finally coming up with that missing word that totally unlocks the crossword. It's also helped to expand my lexicon. Where else could I have learned words like: Alee, Aria, Roc, Melee, and Obi. There are more, but you get the idea.

One day I was feeling a little over confident and decided to tackle the the daily Soduko puzzle. For those of you that don't know, Soduko deals with numbers. I thought, hey if I can do a crossword I can figure this thing out.

Let's just say that I was proven wrong and pretty quickly. 30 mins into it and I was ready to snap my pencil in half and burn that paper. I've never really liked numbers and my hatred was definitely amplified with that experience.

I've come to learn that youth ministry is very much like my dealings with puzzles. There's a sense of accomplishment when we find that one little thing that "unlocks" a student. I relish those "Aha" moments when their eyes light up with understanding and awareness. On the other hand, I have also found that when I try something new it can fail miserably. When kids don't seem to be getting it or aren't consistent, I find myself wanting to break something!

I wonder if sometimes God feels that same about us. I wonder if He does a touchdown dance everytime one of us finally "gets it." I wonder if He clenches His fists when we really screw it up.

I don't know, but what I do know is that God keeps trying. He doesn't give up and He uses everything He can to try and unlock our hearts and minds.

This coming school year, our youth group will be looking at those different ways that God has been trying to reach us, more specifically how He has used certain objects to teach us about Him. We'll look at rocks, clay, water, sand and how all of these objects are used in the Bible to help us understand who God is and what He's all about.

Please join me in praying for these students and also for our leaders. Pray that hopefully these lessons will hit home and be that one thing that unlocks some puzzling things in these teenagers lives. Also, pray that my only frustrations will be with my attempts at Soduko and not with my dealings with youth ministry.

In the meantime, does anyone know a four-letter word that means Lummox?

Everything Turns to Nothing

Sometimes I really struggle. I struggle to keep it all together. I struggle in my faith. I struggle with balancing being a husband, a father, a youth director, a good employee. Point is: I struggle.

July was such a demanding month with a lot of things going on, and in the midst of that busyness, my struggles seem amplified. Sometimes I just wish that I had a pause button for my life so I could stop and catch a breather. There was definitely times where I said: "OK God. When is enough, enough?"

Tonight, God finally decided to give me the answer.

Like many times, He seems to always speak to me through music. The song is "Next to You" by Jay Michael. (You should really check him out--HERE! ) To give you an better understanding, here's the chorus:

Everything turns to nothing, Everything turns to nothing, Everything turns to nothing when I'm next to You.

Simple words, but powerful meaning. And it all hit home tonight.

Yesterday, we met a couple who is following God's calling in their lives to be counselor parents at a residential placement facility. They are uprooting their lives, their kids, their pets, and leaving well established ministries on the other side of the state. Their story is wrought full of how God has moved mightily and quickly to make this all happen. I'm blessed that Kelly and I have found ourselves part of that story.

Everything turns to nothing, Everything turns to nothing, Everything turns to nothing when I'm next to You.

Today, we had an awesome worship service and I was able to talk to one of our youth who I haven't seen most of the summer. She's working at a Bible camp and she shared just how great of an experience it has been for her and how she has grown in her faith because of that. I left feeling pretty blessed that once again, God has used me in part of that story.

Everything turns to nothing, Everything turns to nothing, Everything turns to nothing when I'm next to You.

Tonight, three students, two from the youth ministry, and one that just showed up tonight for the concert put some of their struggles at the foot of the cross and either rededicated or committed their lives to Christ. In speaking to these students, I'm amazed at the struggles that they are going through. Teenagers have it rough. Even more rough than we realize at times. I'm thankful that God has given me the opportunity to work with these kids and share and encourage them through these struggles. I'm blessed for the part God has for me in their stories.

Everything turns to nothing, Everything turns to nothing, Everything turns to nothing when I'm next to You.

Sitting here, reflecting on it all those words keep repeating themselves. That chorus keeps replaying in my head. My struggles aren't struggles at all. When I put them next to God, they aren't anything. In fact, these very struggles are what has prepared me for a lot of these things that I've dealt with and will begin to deal with. When I put them into a context like that, they really aren't struggles at all. They are part of my story and I hope that it can be an encouragement to someone elses' story...

Youth Ministry Lessons from West Virginia

I just recently returned from a week of work camping in the beautiful mountains of West Virginia. I was able to witness all the cliches that go along with that as well. Cars on blocks, lots of dogs running around, and even a miniature horse tied up in a yard being used as a lawn mower of sorts.

Personally, I love West Virginia. I love the mountains and the rivers and I love the accents of the people you meet from West Virginia. It was a great setting to spend a week with a small group of students, working side by side at various work sites. The week was full of hard work, but also full of "youth ministry" opportunities that I'd like to take some time to reflect upon, maybe even some with a southern twang...

Teenagers will always, not just sometimes surprise you. I'm always humbled and awed by what a group of teenagers can accomplish during a week away. When I say accomplish, I don't neccessarily mean just in the physical sense. Students say the most insightful things about faith, about life, and about most anything when we get the chance to pull them away from cell phones and their normal routine.

My group surprised me in their work ethic. Everyday at lunch, they were the first to finish up and start working again. While the rest of the "adults" were still relaxing and watching the clock, my boys went back to work.

As far as spoken insight. Here's the nugget from one of my group who is heading to college at the end of the summer. " I'm going to treat college like prison. I'm choosing my friends carefully, not trusting anyone, rarely making eye contact, and definitely not dropping my soap..." Unorthodox, but good advice nonetheless.

Reinforced also this past week was the fact that teenagers value authenticity. Every evening their was a program time. This included a time to share from the teenagers about how they had seen God work throughout the day, praise and worship, and also a main speaker. Our main speaker was a great guy, but he definitely tried too hard at times. He tried to be cool around the teenagers and the reaction from my group was not positive.

I truly believe that teenagers have a very highly attuned "B.S. meter." They can see a fake a mile away. I've learned through the years that I really only have to be myself. They would rather be with an adult who is a little dorky and not afraid to be themselves than one who is trying to act like a teenager. Relationships have to be authentic to be deep. Teenagers know this all too well.

Lastly, (and here comes the twang!) when you hear the banjos--row harder. Deliverence is a great film on so many levels, but if one piece of advice can be applied to youth ministry from that movie, it is that nugget. When things get weird or hard, we have to keep going no matter what.

Youth ministry if full of disappointment, frustrations, and broken hearts. Luckily, it's also full of a lot of joys as well. Those "banjos" will begin playing from time to time, but we need to remember that just up the river is a better place. I've seen so many youth workers give into those negatives and end up being tied to a tree.

What have I learned? Just keep rowing. Don't wallow in those bad happenstances. Embrace the positives and push through those times when things seem bleak.

I'm definitely tired after that long, hard week spent in West Virginia, but I'm also renewed by the Wild and Wonderfulness of it all as well. Between the strumming of the banjos, I'm glad that God can whisper some truths that we all can pick up on.

Shanking the Shot...

Youth ministry is like playing golf-its hard!! You’ve got to hit that little white dimpled ball, with this little, skinny club, into this little white cup, surrounded by sand traps, water hazards, and rolling hills….and if you’re like me, nine out of ten times the ball doesn’t go where you want it to go.

Youth ministry is the same. You’ve got only a few hours a week with students, dealing with their very short attention spans to hopefully speak a little bit of truth into their lives. And again, nine times out of ten I blow that opportunity.

BUT

There’s always that one “shot” that lands on the green, that one fifty foot putt that we sink, and that one talk that we give that we see a glimmer of recognition in the eyes of a student that keeps us coming back for more.

Though, those nine out of ten failures can definitely be a drag on us mentally and spiritually…

Today, I’d like to share with you some “Truths” that will hopefully help you push through those frustrations that we all encounter in youth ministry and encourage you to keep anticipating those positive breakthroughs.

1. Take care of yourself spiritually.

Those of us who work or volunteer in Youth Ministry are the greatest abusers of spiritual well being. We go nonstop from one event to another to one meeting to another, to one phone call to another. Slow down!! Read some scripture that you will NOT be teaching on later, go on a retreat just for YOU, spend some time alone with God. We’re definitely not the energizer bunny, we can not keep going and going and going…

2. Dwell on the positives

Let’s face it, Youth Ministry is full of messes sometimes. Kids are inconsistent, they don’t commit, families question your skills as a youth worker, even your senior pastor might not quite support you in everything that you do. It’s easy to get bogged down with the negatives, but we must break that cycle. The positives WILL come and when they do we need to celebrate them and party like its 1999 all over again!

3. Give yourself permission to say “NO!”

Who knew that two little letters could hold so much meaning and power? Many of us are “people pleasers.” We want people to like us and we want to be everything to everyone. When we do that, we just leave ourselves open to getting to spread thin and eventually burn out. God wants us to be effective in our ministries and He wants us to be healthy. Practice it, say it, let it become your montra. and when the REALLY important things come along, you’ll have the time and energy to do them well and with enthusiasm. Also, you give yourself the time to spend time at home with your spouse or family or both. We need to stop hurting the ones we love the most, we need to give ourselves permission to say NO!!

The good and the bad, frustrations will come, but because we know they will we can prepare. I’m hoping and praying that you are taking care of yourself, focusing on the postives, and saying “no” a little more often and saying YES to being a healthy youth worker.

A Rant...

Ok, so I thought that I really wouldn’t be using my blog for this, but maybe now is the time. I’ve really tried to stay away from personal rants and the like on here. I dunno, maybe I just think that no one really cares what I have to say. It’s a new year, I have this blog, and I really need to use it-so here goes.

Why can’t parents be parents? Sometimes I wonder why I’ve been called into youth ministry. I ask myself and God: “Why? What are you trying to teach me through all of this?”

I think that I’ve finally come across one of the answers. If anything, my time in youth ministry has taught me how to be a parent of teenagers. Unfortunately, most of my examples have been negative, but I have learned from these all the same.

I am amazed on a weekly basis just how much parents are not in tune to what their teenagers are actually doing on those “wonderful blessings” called cell phones, computers, myspace, facebook…the list can just go on.

Parent’s are just woefully unaware of, #1 how to use these media and most importantly #2 how to monitor their teens behavior with such media. Maybe its not their ignorance of the actual workings of these social instruments, maybe its just their unwillingness to be a parent. To actually say “NO.” To actually take the time and energy to see just what types of things their children are doing on these things.

In over seven years of youth ministry, I’ve had to try and communicate one thing over and over again, and I don’t think that people are listening. A youth pastor/teacher/pastor/principal/doctor, etc is not a substitute for a parent. There is no substitute for a parent-none, zip, zilch. Parent’s have the biggest chunk of time actually in the presence of these teenagers. They have the God given authority and responsibility to step up and take their children by the horns and to help steer them in the right direction.

Parent’s need to be involved in their teenagers lives. They need to be asking those questions, they need to be confronting their children about right and wrong and-Heaven forbid-actually be willing to discipline.

I love teenagers. I love their enthusiasm, I love their energy, but I hate how those energies are being directed into the wrong avenues.

Can I blame the kids? Sure. They hold some responsibility. They need to see their actions as the world sees their actions. They need to think about how they actually look. They need to remember that they are being evaluated by a non-believing world every day. They need to realize that character and integrity are things that are valued in this world.

Can I blame parents? Absolutely. They hold incredible responsibility. They need to assert themselves as the best mentor and the best teacher and the best picture of Jesus that their teenagers might ever see.

My dream. That someday that youth ministry in the church is second priority to the real youth ministry in the home.

Parents, please be parents. Teenagers, please think about who you are and what you stand for before you act. Youth Pastors, please don’t try and be surrogate parents….