Ok, so I thought that I really wouldn’t be using my blog for this, but maybe now is the time. I’ve really tried to stay away from personal rants and the like on here. I dunno, maybe I just think that no one really cares what I have to say. It’s a new year, I have this blog, and I really need to use it-so here goes.
Why can’t parents be parents? Sometimes I wonder why I’ve been called into youth ministry. I ask myself and God: “Why? What are you trying to teach me through all of this?”
I think that I’ve finally come across one of the answers. If anything, my time in youth ministry has taught me how to be a parent of teenagers. Unfortunately, most of my examples have been negative, but I have learned from these all the same.
I am amazed on a weekly basis just how much parents are not in tune to what their teenagers are actually doing on those “wonderful blessings” called cell phones, computers, myspace, facebook…the list can just go on.
Parent’s are just woefully unaware of, #1 how to use these media and most importantly #2 how to monitor their teens behavior with such media. Maybe its not their ignorance of the actual workings of these social instruments, maybe its just their unwillingness to be a parent. To actually say “NO.” To actually take the time and energy to see just what types of things their children are doing on these things.
In over seven years of youth ministry, I’ve had to try and communicate one thing over and over again, and I don’t think that people are listening. A youth pastor/teacher/pastor/principal/doctor, etc is not a substitute for a parent. There is no substitute for a parent-none, zip, zilch. Parent’s have the biggest chunk of time actually in the presence of these teenagers. They have the God given authority and responsibility to step up and take their children by the horns and to help steer them in the right direction.
Parent’s need to be involved in their teenagers lives. They need to be asking those questions, they need to be confronting their children about right and wrong and-Heaven forbid-actually be willing to discipline.
I love teenagers. I love their enthusiasm, I love their energy, but I hate how those energies are being directed into the wrong avenues.
Can I blame the kids? Sure. They hold some responsibility. They need to see their actions as the world sees their actions. They need to think about how they actually look. They need to remember that they are being evaluated by a non-believing world every day. They need to realize that character and integrity are things that are valued in this world.
Can I blame parents? Absolutely. They hold incredible responsibility. They need to assert themselves as the best mentor and the best teacher and the best picture of Jesus that their teenagers might ever see.
My dream. That someday that youth ministry in the church is second priority to the real youth ministry in the home.
Parents, please be parents. Teenagers, please think about who you are and what you stand for before you act. Youth Pastors, please don’t try and be surrogate parents….
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
When do you give it up?
I’ve been thinking that lately. When do you give it up. I mean, no matter what the “it” is, how do you decide?
Recently, I’ve really been contemplating when it is that I will not continue in youth ministry in the position I am in. As youth pastors, do we have a shelf life? Is there a good time to step away from the lead position?
I’ve always had in my mind that I would be doing this for ten years. I’m coming up to eight years this year.
Do I still feel called? Yes. Do I still care for students? Yes. Is my heart still in it? Yes.
I guess the debate becomes, do I leave while all of those answers are “yes.” I believe that I should. I do not want to leave a ministry that is unhealthy for someone else to fix. I want to be able to pass on the torch brightly lit.
I don’t think that many of us plan with the end in mind. It’s something that I’m beginning to do. What decisions am I making now, that will affect the next youth pastor? We all need to be asking those questions. I don’t believe that we do that enough.
It’s scary to think of any position, any job without yourself. But to ensure long term health, we need to get over our fears.
Recently, I’ve really been contemplating when it is that I will not continue in youth ministry in the position I am in. As youth pastors, do we have a shelf life? Is there a good time to step away from the lead position?
I’ve always had in my mind that I would be doing this for ten years. I’m coming up to eight years this year.
Do I still feel called? Yes. Do I still care for students? Yes. Is my heart still in it? Yes.
I guess the debate becomes, do I leave while all of those answers are “yes.” I believe that I should. I do not want to leave a ministry that is unhealthy for someone else to fix. I want to be able to pass on the torch brightly lit.
I don’t think that many of us plan with the end in mind. It’s something that I’m beginning to do. What decisions am I making now, that will affect the next youth pastor? We all need to be asking those questions. I don’t believe that we do that enough.
It’s scary to think of any position, any job without yourself. But to ensure long term health, we need to get over our fears.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Staying Connected
4,000. That’s a pretty hefty number.
Say it with me-FOUR THOUSAND.
Believe it or not that is the average number of text messages a typical teenager sends and recieves on a monthly basis. I was able to find this number by a quick survey of some of the kids in the youth ministry. I’m sure that is even a conservative rate, knowing some teenagers and the amount of time they spend on those things they call phones. (Even though I’m not too sure why they are called that anymore-no one does any talking on them anymore…)
Let’s unpack this fact just a little more. 4,000 text messages translates to over 130 messages in a day. Let’s break it down even further. Knowing that the average teenager is awake around 15 hours a day, that translates into almost nine texts an hour or a text every 7 minutes. Now, keep in mind I’m being very conservative, but still the numbers are very significant. (I didn’t even account for when they are in school and really can’t use text messaging)
These teenagers are trying to reach out, to the tune of over 130 times a day. They are trying to find connection, relationship. But are these relationships trully fulfilling? Weren’t we created to reach out in more personal ways?
Truth is, we are. We are meant to interact with with one another in a more personal way. We are meant to exist together in community, side by side, having true communication. Don’t we all need to work at that? Are we reaching out that many times a day? Are we trying to connect with those around us? Are we trying to connect with God that many times? I’m going to be asking the students in the Youth Ministry that very question. Along with that, I’m going to be asking myself that very same question.
My plea and my prayer is that you are asking yourself that question as well. In addition I hope that you are asking the students in your life that as well. I hope that you will join me in trying to help them not only connect with the Lord but with those people that will encourage them and help them to grow in their faith.
Say it with me-FOUR THOUSAND.
Believe it or not that is the average number of text messages a typical teenager sends and recieves on a monthly basis. I was able to find this number by a quick survey of some of the kids in the youth ministry. I’m sure that is even a conservative rate, knowing some teenagers and the amount of time they spend on those things they call phones. (Even though I’m not too sure why they are called that anymore-no one does any talking on them anymore…)
Let’s unpack this fact just a little more. 4,000 text messages translates to over 130 messages in a day. Let’s break it down even further. Knowing that the average teenager is awake around 15 hours a day, that translates into almost nine texts an hour or a text every 7 minutes. Now, keep in mind I’m being very conservative, but still the numbers are very significant. (I didn’t even account for when they are in school and really can’t use text messaging)
These teenagers are trying to reach out, to the tune of over 130 times a day. They are trying to find connection, relationship. But are these relationships trully fulfilling? Weren’t we created to reach out in more personal ways?
Truth is, we are. We are meant to interact with with one another in a more personal way. We are meant to exist together in community, side by side, having true communication. Don’t we all need to work at that? Are we reaching out that many times a day? Are we trying to connect with those around us? Are we trying to connect with God that many times? I’m going to be asking the students in the Youth Ministry that very question. Along with that, I’m going to be asking myself that very same question.
My plea and my prayer is that you are asking yourself that question as well. In addition I hope that you are asking the students in your life that as well. I hope that you will join me in trying to help them not only connect with the Lord but with those people that will encourage them and help them to grow in their faith.
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