Ok, so I thought that I really wouldn’t be using my blog for this, but maybe now is the time. I’ve really tried to stay away from personal rants and the like on here. I dunno, maybe I just think that no one really cares what I have to say. It’s a new year, I have this blog, and I really need to use it-so here goes.
Why can’t parents be parents? Sometimes I wonder why I’ve been called into youth ministry. I ask myself and God: “Why? What are you trying to teach me through all of this?”
I think that I’ve finally come across one of the answers. If anything, my time in youth ministry has taught me how to be a parent of teenagers. Unfortunately, most of my examples have been negative, but I have learned from these all the same.
I am amazed on a weekly basis just how much parents are not in tune to what their teenagers are actually doing on those “wonderful blessings” called cell phones, computers, myspace, facebook…the list can just go on.
Parent’s are just woefully unaware of, #1 how to use these media and most importantly #2 how to monitor their teens behavior with such media. Maybe its not their ignorance of the actual workings of these social instruments, maybe its just their unwillingness to be a parent. To actually say “NO.” To actually take the time and energy to see just what types of things their children are doing on these things.
In over seven years of youth ministry, I’ve had to try and communicate one thing over and over again, and I don’t think that people are listening. A youth pastor/teacher/pastor/principal/doctor, etc is not a substitute for a parent. There is no substitute for a parent-none, zip, zilch. Parent’s have the biggest chunk of time actually in the presence of these teenagers. They have the God given authority and responsibility to step up and take their children by the horns and to help steer them in the right direction.
Parent’s need to be involved in their teenagers lives. They need to be asking those questions, they need to be confronting their children about right and wrong and-Heaven forbid-actually be willing to discipline.
I love teenagers. I love their enthusiasm, I love their energy, but I hate how those energies are being directed into the wrong avenues.
Can I blame the kids? Sure. They hold some responsibility. They need to see their actions as the world sees their actions. They need to think about how they actually look. They need to remember that they are being evaluated by a non-believing world every day. They need to realize that character and integrity are things that are valued in this world.
Can I blame parents? Absolutely. They hold incredible responsibility. They need to assert themselves as the best mentor and the best teacher and the best picture of Jesus that their teenagers might ever see.
My dream. That someday that youth ministry in the church is second priority to the real youth ministry in the home.
Parents, please be parents. Teenagers, please think about who you are and what you stand for before you act. Youth Pastors, please don’t try and be surrogate parents….
