Making the right choices

I'm entering into a new phase of my life.

For the longest time, I've had what I like to call "Career ADHD." My resume is voluminous to say the least. I have had a hard time really finding what it is I want to be when I grow up.

And now, here I am at 33 years old and I once again am making preparations to continue on my merry-go-round of experiences. I'm going back to school.

I've been feeling the pushing and prodding for some time now, and this past fall I finally made the decision to take the plunge and enter graduate school. I will be returning to my alma mater, Slippery Rock University, and will study special education.

The past few months have been an education all in itself for me as I have investigated all that I need to do to enter back into the student world. I've had to reteach myself about financial aid, teacher certification, and taking tests.

One of the requirements for acceptance into the Special Ed. program is taking the Miller Analogies Test.

I have not taken a standardized test since I took my SATs when I was junior in high school. I defintely felt ill prepared for this exam and began to hit the interwebs in search of sample tests and strategies.

Luckily, this test is a multiple choice test, but the questions are pretty hard. It all deals with analogies and being able to know your vocabulary and how things are related. The framers of this test are tricky too, they start off easy and as the test goes on, it gets progressively harder. Many times, answers are so close that you really have no clear choice.

This is when the strategies come into play.

The trick is to narrow down your choices. Each question has four multiple choice answers. Usually you can eliminate two choices right away. That leaves two possible answers and a 50% chance is better than a 25% chance.

The logic is undeniable, but sometimes it just doesn't feel right.

Teenagers live in this world everyday. They have choices to make. The have decisions and sometimes they need to determine the logic and differentiate that from the emotions. It's hard.

It requires us to make that connection between the logic and the emotion and to feel comfortable in that decision. We try to do that in youth ministry and sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.

How can we give these teenagers more success? We need to apply the strategy and give them better odds. We need to help them eliminate some of those choices that they could make, by giving them Jesus. We need to invest some energy and time into them, and show them how to make the connection between heart and mind.

Will they always make the right choice? No. But 50% is better than 25%...

But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom,
and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it--
he will be blessed in what he does. James 1:25

Empty Threats and Broken Promises

I have some dreams in this life.

1. I want to own my own daycare.
It's just always something that I've wanted to do. I want the challenge of entrepeneurship. I want to create something amazing. I want to make a difference in our community.

2. I want to write a song.
Again, I'm motivated by the chance to create something. It will have to be an acoustic piece. I think I could do the lyrics, it's just the whole melody, chord progression, rhythm thing. I don't know...I'll figure it out.

3. I want to start a metal band and name it Nicodemus.
I've just always loved that name and metal is just straight up awesome.

4. I want to write a parenting book and title it Empty Threats and Broken Promises.


In dealing with children these many years and now being a parent for the past eleven, I think I have something to say about this subject and this title is the best.

It encapsulates a lot of how parenting is done.

Don't do this. Don't do that or...

...or what? So many parents lack the intestinal fortitude to follow through. They want the quick and easy way out.

Unfortunately, parenting is about making the hard choices. I'm not saying that I'm perfect at this either. I make my share of empty threats, but through the years, I've learned to say less and follow through with more.

Boundaries are important. Our ability to set limits and to stand firm by them dictate a lot of our discipline of our children. Working with juvenile delinquents has taught me that.

They youth that I work with test those limits on a daily basis. They want to know where the line is and when staff is consistent, the youth react positively. They feel secure and they feel safe in the environment and the structure allows them to succeed greatly.

I'm not saying that we become prison guards with our kids, but what I am saying is that by providing structure, by providing consistent boundaries of behavior we give our children the best opportunity to succeed and thrive.

Soften the boundaries and chaos could ensue.

So next time you draw a line in the sand, make sure that you are ready to defend it at all costs.

Rebellion at Sam's Club

Today, I was faced with a harsh and bitter truth.

It is something that I have known about myself for many years, but for some reason it became even more clear today.

I'm pretty rebellious.

I've always had problems with rules and norms. I like to push the envelope, to test limits. I'm always looking for other ways around the challenges that are presented to me.

My wife, Kelly can attest to that. I have a hard time following rules and procedure.

Today was a perfect example. Kelly and I got up early this morning and dropped the kids off at school and headed to Sam's Club, as well as other places. We stopped at Sam's first, knowing that they opened early, but when we got there, these early hours only apply to "plus members" and buisiness'.

Oh well, I thought. We have other things to do. We can wait until 10:00am to get in the door.

And we did until about 9:45.

We pulled into the parking lot and started to walk in the doors. Surely, they would let us in a few minutes early. It's Thursday morning for goodness sake. There's barely any cars in the parking lot.

We approach the "Sam's Club Greeter/Nazi" and show her our ID and she informs us that we will have to wait ten minutes before we can enter.

I kept my cool, but I was really upset on the inside. I kept asking "why can't I?"
What's ten minutes in a barely busy store? What about the slowly growing group of people behind me. What about customer service?

I guess we're all a little rebellious at heart. We want things our way, in our timing, and much like a spoiled child, when we don't get our way, we tend to get a little belligerent.

What a parallel to our lives as believers. God's much like the gatekeeper at Sam's Club. He's constantly telling us just wait. The time will be right soon. Have some peace as you wait for me to open the doors.

I survived. (She actually relented and started letting people in five minutes early!) In the end, we got what we needed and were happily on our way. Maybe I'll remember that next time "the rules" seem to be interfering in my life.

Putting the "Fun" in Fundamental

Yesterday was a very good day to be introspective. It was election day.

I, like many other United States citizens, enjoy the freedoms that we have been blessed with. I am free to worship how I would like to worship. I am free to make choices for me and my family. I am free to hold opinions of my own. I even have the freedom to express these opinions in a variety of ways.

For the most part, our form of government works. It might be messy at times, but at the end of the day, I love the whole process of the "Great Debate."

What's funny is how I've changed in the years that I have been actively involved in the process.

I used to be pretty fundamental. Things were black and white. Right and wrong. Smart and stupid. I was a Republican through and through, right down to the red tie I would wear in high school on election days.

I looked at Democrats in disgust. How could they believe what they believed? How can they support these certain issues? What a bunch of crazies.

I look back at that "Jason" and realize that he was a little more "mental" than "fun." Not to say that I am totally "blue," but I think I can understand opposing views a little more than I could in my younger years.

I've learned, many times the hard way, that this world is full of gray. That there is actually more than one way to approach problems and each approach has its pros and cons. I've learned that right and wrong can sometimes mean correct and more correct. I've also learned that at times, I'm forced to choose more against one canidate than really for another. I now identify myself as a conservative thinker, instead of a Republican. I find things from both side of the fence that I can agree upon.

As the years slip by, I find myself shifting more and more to the middle of the political spectrum. I've found that as I shed more of the "mental," I can actually have a little more "fun."

Is this what getting older does to people? Does it soften us? Does it give us the perspective to finally say that I don't have all answers? I can only say that for me it has, and it has energized me more than ever to be active.

I voted and will continue to do so as long as I am able and have that responsibility. Our system might have its flaws, but it's worth it.

I think Winston Churchill said it best: "It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried. "

NaNoWriMoBlog

I think every once in a while we all need to shake things up. We need to challenge ourselves and stretch ourselves to places that we haven't been before. This is me trying to stretch me.

For those of you who do not know this month is National Novel Writing Month. (If you're interested as to what that is all about check it out here: NaNoWriMo.

I'm going to attempt to challenge myself, not to write a 50,000 word novel, but to blog every day of November.

It should be a fun little experiment and I'm interested to see just where it will take me. My mind is definitely stream of consciousness sometimes so hold on and enjoy the ride...

For those of you who are in the know, I am closing out a chapter of my life this coming month-well at least taking the first steps in that process. It's scary and exciting all at the same time. (More on this change later this month) It has also begun to dominate my thoughts as of late.

The truth is that we all have seasons of our lives. For Kelly and I, we have gone through so many seasons together. We navigated the high school years together, journeyed through the college years, whisked through the baby years, and now find ourselves settling into the child-rearing years.

This autumn marks 17 years of us doing life together. Through it all I'm glad that I've had her to walk with me down this road. I look forward to the next "season" that God has in store for us. As scary and unknown the path ahead looks, I'm thankful that I can hold her hand as we walk.

As I begin this journey, this verse comes to mind:
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Hebrews 11: 1(NKJV)

Do you look at the future with hope? I truly think that Paul is saying this to us. Faith and Hope go hand in hand. When we step out in faith, we can be hopeful. I just need to keep reminding myself of that...

The Lightbright finally put to good use!

My daughter asked me the other evening who is my favorite band. After a little bit of deliberation I answered "David Crowder." (When I say a little bit, I really mean microseconds...)

I absolutely love David Crowder.

If I have the opportunity to see him live, I always take advantage of it. I could literally go to one of his concerts every day of the week and twice on Sundays. No question.

His music engages me like nothing else. Just wanted to share this with you because I am geek who is impressed with creative things and who loves David Crowder.