Girl Games

I love my wife. For really. I do.

She's a great woman. She's everything that I'm not. Organized. Aware. Focused. She's a hard working woman who has the really hard job of keeping her crazy, flighty, and ADHD husband in line and going.

We have been dating for half of our lives. Doing life together, growing up together, and having fun every step of the way.

It's been challenging at times. We've had our fair share of craziness, but I'm thankful for how our marriage has grown and improved through each tribulation. The good has extremely outweighed the bad and if I could do it all over again, I would.

BUT...

Being a husband is tough. God has made us extremely different from the opposite gender. We process things differently and communicate differently. Men most times operate in the "black and white" while women thrive in the "grays."

I like to call this particular quality "Girl Gaming."

Instead of asking us to rub your shoulders, you make comments about how much your shoulders hurt. Instead of asking us to help clean up after dinner, you talk about what kind of a crazy day that you have had. All the while, expecting us husbands to pick up on these subtle hints. Then you get upset when we don't meet those expectations.

Ladies. Guess what. Stop "Girl Gaming" us! Honestly, it has taken my wife and I almost 14 years to finally get to the point where I'm beginning to understand this. Let me emphasize, BEGINNING to understand. I am in no way a professional in this area at all, nor do I play one on TV.

It's such a delicate dance and it takes a delicate, listening ear and a lot of patience to get through these girl games. Sometimes I wish that women came with subtitle translations. It would make our lives so much easier.


In many ways though, that's exactly how God communicates with us sometimes. God works in the subtleties.

There is that great passage that I continue to go back to throughout my life. Elijah has just brought down fire from Heaven in his confrontation with the prophets of Baal. God shows His power greatly through Elijah. Afterwards, Elijah flees. Jezebel wants his head and he goes on the lam. The Lord comes to speak to Elijah and comes not in the great wind, not in the earthquake, and not in the fire. Instead, He comes in a gentle whisper.

Listening to the Lord speak in our lives takes a delicate, listening ear and a lot of patience. Like women, God doesn't come with subtitles, even though it would make things that much easier.

God is in the Gray. And like my marriage, it's taken me a long time to realize this. I have to be listening well when both my wife and God is talking to me. When we do this our, relationships are so much more rewarding.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think Kelly's subtitles just said that I need to come cuddle on the couch with her.

Thoughts inspired from a "weak throw from left"

For those of you who don't know, I am a huge Pirates fan.

I've loved the Buccos nearly all my life.

I think it all started when I was around six years old and I began collecting baseball cards. Every week I would try and earn enough allowance to buy a pack or two of baseball cards. I remember collecting them and sorting them into teams and picking out my favorites. I remember the Pirates deck of cards that I had with John Candelaria, Kent Tekulve, and Tony Pena just to name a few. I especially was fond of John Candelaria.

My mother is Filipino and we would take a monthly trip down to the Strip District in Pittsburgh and go shopping at a few Filipino markets. On one of these trips I remember walking down the aisle of Sanbok, which was one of the best Filipino shops on Penn Avenue and coming across the towering presence of John Candelaria. I recognized him immediately and froze and stared in wonder.

Luckily my mom was with me and she started speaking with John Candelaria's wife, who was Filipino. They struck up a conversation in rapid fire Tagalog (a major Filipino dialect) and the next thing I knew John Candelaria bent down and shook my hand.

He looked at my Pirates hat and smiled and said "Good choice in teams...Nice to meet you." Finally shaken out of my daze I told him it was nice to meet him as well and that I had his baseball card at home. He patted me on my seven year old head and said, "Well, keep rooting for us." My mom and his wife ended their conversation and we all said our goodbyes and I've been a Pirates fan every since.

Most of that time has been in frustration though, as they have managed to have a losing record in the each of the past 18 seasons. Once again, as this baseball season comes to a close, I'm haunted by the memory of a "weak throw from left."



I'm also thankful.

Seasons end and ultimately begin over again. Like Roger Hornsby, "I stare out the window and wait for spring to come." And it does. Last year becomes a memory and the slate is wiped clean again. Hope is restored.

Everyday I am amazed at how this idea resonates in ALL aspects of life. In our relationships. In our professions. In our Spiritual walks. Seasons of our lives end. Our past mistakes, missteps, and deeds are wiped clean. Hope is restored.

My hope in Christ: That Grace continues to flow abundantly.
My hope in the Pirates: More wins than losses...

Reverse Trick or Treat!!

Here's my submission for the Compassion365's Halloween podcast on 10/31. Podcasting for Compassion is a daily podcast dedicated to raising funds and awareness for Compassion International. You can check them out and subscribe to their feed at
http://compassion.socialgivingpodcast.com .
The challenge is to write a 100 word story that infuses the theme of compassion with Halloween. At first I thought this would be cake, but as I started to write, I realized just how quickly 100 words can be thrown down.

These 100 words actually took me longer to write than some of my papers from college! I hope you enjoy and are inspired to participate. If you would like to submit a 100 word story of compassion and Halloween, you can email your writing to compassion365 {at} gmail {dot} com.

This story is dedicated to the Compassion Child that our youth ministry sponsors, Nsengiyaremye Sylvain from Rwanda.

Leaves rustled as Chloe and Corban shuffled past. Costumed children abounded in the neighborhood, going house to house gathering sweet confections, but the duo paid no attention. Behind them they lugged a large Radio Flier filled with plastic bags. They pulled this cart up to the only house not festooned with decorations and lifted it onto the porch and rang the doorbell. A boy answered, hobbling on crutches, the spinabifida hindering his mobility, his eyes wide as he spied the cart heaped with treats. Everyone on the street seemed to stop and stare as the two gleefully exclaimed: “Reverse Trick or Treat!”

You can sponsor a child through Compassion International: www.compassion.com

Crosswords and Soduko

I've become addicted. No, it's not smoking or drinking or even some other vice.

It's crosswords.

Strange, but I've come to enjoy solving crosswords. There's a satisfaction in finally coming up with that missing word that totally unlocks the crossword. It's also helped to expand my lexicon. Where else could I have learned words like: Alee, Aria, Roc, Melee, and Obi. There are more, but you get the idea.

One day I was feeling a little over confident and decided to tackle the the daily Soduko puzzle. For those of you that don't know, Soduko deals with numbers. I thought, hey if I can do a crossword I can figure this thing out.

Let's just say that I was proven wrong and pretty quickly. 30 mins into it and I was ready to snap my pencil in half and burn that paper. I've never really liked numbers and my hatred was definitely amplified with that experience.

I've come to learn that youth ministry is very much like my dealings with puzzles. There's a sense of accomplishment when we find that one little thing that "unlocks" a student. I relish those "Aha" moments when their eyes light up with understanding and awareness. On the other hand, I have also found that when I try something new it can fail miserably. When kids don't seem to be getting it or aren't consistent, I find myself wanting to break something!

I wonder if sometimes God feels that same about us. I wonder if He does a touchdown dance everytime one of us finally "gets it." I wonder if He clenches His fists when we really screw it up.

I don't know, but what I do know is that God keeps trying. He doesn't give up and He uses everything He can to try and unlock our hearts and minds.

This coming school year, our youth group will be looking at those different ways that God has been trying to reach us, more specifically how He has used certain objects to teach us about Him. We'll look at rocks, clay, water, sand and how all of these objects are used in the Bible to help us understand who God is and what He's all about.

Please join me in praying for these students and also for our leaders. Pray that hopefully these lessons will hit home and be that one thing that unlocks some puzzling things in these teenagers lives. Also, pray that my only frustrations will be with my attempts at Soduko and not with my dealings with youth ministry.

In the meantime, does anyone know a four-letter word that means Lummox?