Empty Threats and Broken Promises

I have some dreams in this life.

1. I want to own my own daycare.
It's just always something that I've wanted to do. I want the challenge of entrepeneurship. I want to create something amazing. I want to make a difference in our community.

2. I want to write a song.
Again, I'm motivated by the chance to create something. It will have to be an acoustic piece. I think I could do the lyrics, it's just the whole melody, chord progression, rhythm thing. I don't know...I'll figure it out.

3. I want to start a metal band and name it Nicodemus.
I've just always loved that name and metal is just straight up awesome.

4. I want to write a parenting book and title it Empty Threats and Broken Promises.


In dealing with children these many years and now being a parent for the past eleven, I think I have something to say about this subject and this title is the best.

It encapsulates a lot of how parenting is done.

Don't do this. Don't do that or...

...or what? So many parents lack the intestinal fortitude to follow through. They want the quick and easy way out.

Unfortunately, parenting is about making the hard choices. I'm not saying that I'm perfect at this either. I make my share of empty threats, but through the years, I've learned to say less and follow through with more.

Boundaries are important. Our ability to set limits and to stand firm by them dictate a lot of our discipline of our children. Working with juvenile delinquents has taught me that.

They youth that I work with test those limits on a daily basis. They want to know where the line is and when staff is consistent, the youth react positively. They feel secure and they feel safe in the environment and the structure allows them to succeed greatly.

I'm not saying that we become prison guards with our kids, but what I am saying is that by providing structure, by providing consistent boundaries of behavior we give our children the best opportunity to succeed and thrive.

Soften the boundaries and chaos could ensue.

So next time you draw a line in the sand, make sure that you are ready to defend it at all costs.